A Minecraft Movie Review: Jack Black Stars in Terrible Movie
How do you turn a sandbox video game with no real narrative into a movie? I have no idea, and clearly, Hollywood didn’t either. In the grand tradition of video game adaptations that barely try, A Minecraft Movie crashes onto the big screen with all the subtlety of a Creeper sneaking up behind you. It’s loud, it’s bright, it’s dumb, and it knows it. But while the film might be a colorful, action-packed spectacle for young kids and die-hard Minecraft fans, anyone hoping for a well-crafted adventure will be left digging for something—anything—of substance.
The movie opens with an endless barrage of exposition, narrated with boundless energy by Jack Black’s Steve, an expert crafter in the world of Minecraft. Black, in his most exaggerated form, delivers his lines as though he’s been fed an IV drip of energy drinks. I love Black’s work in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but between this and last year’s Borderlands movie, he has taken a turn for the worse as a more annoying video game screen presence than ever. His manic, overly enthusiastic delivery sets the tone for what’s to come: a film that is desperately trying to be funny but only manages to be exhausting.
We’re quickly introduced to the four unfortunate souls who get sucked into this pixelated nightmare. Jason Momoa’s Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison (yes, really), Emma Myers’s Natalie, Sebastian Hansen’s Henry, and Danielle Brooks’s Dawn all serve as the stereotypical misfit crew. They have their mundane real-world struggles, but before we can learn too much about them, they’re thrown through a portal and land in the Overworld, Minecraft’s cubic landscape brought to life in a surprisingly accurate yet completely lifeless way. Their quest? To survive, learn the ways of Minecraft, and—of course—return home. Along the way, they face piglins, zombies, and a generic looming evil while being reluctantly guided by Steve, who clearly enjoys yelling more than actually helping.
The biggest problem with A Minecraft Movie is that it just isn’t funny. It wants to be—desperately so. Characters scream, overact, and throw joke after joke at the screen, but almost all of them land with the comedic impact of a falling anvil. Momoa and Black are clearly having the time of their lives, but not in a way that serves the movie. Their performances feel like extended improv sessions where they’re amusing themselves more than the audience. Black, in particular, is delivering every line with an unnecessary wink-and-nod energy that quickly becomes insufferable.
Jennifer Coolidge, at least, gets a subplot as Vice Principal Marlene. While her trademark voice and out-of-pocket dialogue that will make adults crack up more than children offers a few mildly amusing moments, her role contributes absolutely nothing to the story. It’s as if the writers realized they had Jennifer Coolidge on board and threw in some extra material just to make use of her because her subplot would not have been as entertaining as it is if it were anyone else in her role. Meanwhile, Rachel House voices Malgosha, a character whose villainous presence is so unremarkable that she might as well not exist. The villain gets one moment near the end that I chuckled at, but overall, there isn’t much to her.
Visually, A Minecraft Movie is both a technical achievement and an aesthetic disaster. The film undeniably brings the game’s world to life with a meticulous level of detail. The blocky environments, the iconic mobs, and the crafting mechanics are all perfectly translated into live-action. And yet, it all feels…fake. The actors are constantly surrounded by artificial backgrounds, making the action scenes feel weightless and disconnected. There’s no sense of real danger, no immersion—just a bunch of people running around on a soundstage. The cinematography doesn’t help either, as everything is so evenly lit and flat that it all looks like a mid-budget Disney+ original rather than a major theatrical release.
For a movie that centers around a group of misfits, A Minecraft Movie does shockingly little with its characters. Garrett is supposed to be a washed-up leader, but I miss the days when Momoa was actually trying to act. He turns in excellent work in films like Dune and Sweet Girl, but in Fast X and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, he seems to just be having a blast. This is definitely a role where he’s enjoying himself more than actually turning in quality work. Natalie and Henry are two characters whose relationship to each other should have been the heart and soul of the film, but nothing ends up having real weight. Danielle Brooks just got an Oscar nomination for her role in The Color Purple, so her talent gets wasted here.
The film makes a vague attempt at giving them personal struggles to overcome, but by the time the credits roll, it’s hard to say if they actually learned anything, changed, or even mattered. At the end of the day, A Minecraft Movie is exactly what you’d expect from a film that exists solely to capitalize on the popularity of a video game. It’s loud, obnoxious, and aggressively silly. It may entertain younger audiences who just want to see Minecraft creatures come to life, but for anyone looking for a genuinely fun adventure, it’s a tedious and exhausting ride. The humor falls flat, the action lacks weight, and the characters are so underdeveloped that you might forget their names halfway through.
Sure, video game movies don’t always have to be high art, but they should at least try to be entertaining in a meaningful way. This film feels like one of those funny fake movies that play during a real movie. A Minecraft Movie is the cinematic equivalent of digging straight down: a terrible idea that only results in frustration. If you’re an adult hoping for an enjoyable experience, do yourself a favor — stick to the game.
SCORE: 3/10
As ComingSoon’s review policy explains, a score of 3 equates to “Bad.” Due to significant issues, this media feels like a chore to take in.
Disclosure: ComingSoon attended a press screening for our A Minecraft Movie review.
Source: Comingsoon.net